Unless we learn that true leadership does not come from always trying to set oneself above society, today's generation will repeat the mistakes of their predecessors, says Tukeni Obasi.

Growing up as kids, we face all lot of pressure from our peers and society in general. As we progress into our teen years, these pressures continue to rise: pressure to be cool, to look cool, to act cool, to stay cool, and to do cool stuff.

After high school, the pressure doesn't go away. There come the parties and the night life, the spring breaks and weekend getaways, the shopping sprees, the Blackberries and PS3s and the next thing on the must-have list.

Some of us end up having to starve ourselves in order to be able to afford that expensive dress to wear to that party. Others end up borrowing money from friends or people they can 'use' just to be able to live the extravagant life that being cool demands of them.

Luckily or unluckily for some of these people, their hard work does not go unnoticed and they are accepted into the mainstream cool family. To be sure, there are people of means, people who do not need to borrow or beg or starve or lie in order to lead the extravagant lives they lead, people who spend more money in a week than some people earn in a year. But this money goes to living a life of class, setting oneself above one's peers, being 'the biggest boss'.

Now let's reverse, cross the Atlantic, back up into the African continent. Every now and then, one governor or local government chairman or public official or another is being charged with embezzling large sums of government money. And once this leader is exposed, many of the citizens regard him with contempt and call him all sorts of names and some people can't seem to wrap their heads around why people in office embezzle money instead of using it for the common good of society.

I'll tell you why.

If you've made it your life's ambition to boss, you constantly want to show everyone around you that you are doing just that and thus that you are superior to them. So, when the next politician becomes the local government chairman, instead of trying to get himself acquainted with the challenges facing the development of his community, he wants to show the rest of the local government that he is superior to them, and his quality of life is better.

His wife needs to travel abroad and adorn herself with the most expensive jewelry so that the villagers will know that levels have changed. His children need to go to the most expensive schools because since when did they start attending the same schools as commoners?

If he is more fortunate and wins the gubernatorial elections or becomes a minister, we should be looking at a lot of property, houses in the U.K and in the U.S, fat bank accounts, SUVs, Hummers, talk-of-the town parties etc. His children, of course, also need to be abroad, wearing the latest designer clothes, and generally bossing like their parents. And at the end of the day, the real needs of the society are ignored. Many people in the state remain uneducated and continue to live in abject poverty, but then again what's that to a boss?

Back to us: university undergraduates, graduates about to enter the labour force, freshmen in the labour force. We who used to be leaders of tomorrow are now leaders of a day that is about to break and many of us are still struggling to be bosses and live lives worthy of acknowledgement and respect by our peers.

This means that when we assume positions of office and perchance we do not have the wherewithal to keep up to the demands of being a society man or lady, we will borrow and steal from society; we will do whatever it takes to continue bossing, placing ourselves above people who need our help the most and ignoring the real needs of our society.

Of course, the pressure doesn't really go away, does it? It starts from one time and graduates into a habit and, before we know it, we are robbing the system which we were entrusted to protect. And so, many of us will become guilty of the same crimes that many leaders are getting indicted for. Thus the cycle of corruption continues, with the bosses going harder and the poor people getting poorer.

At the end of the day, our society will be no better than we met it - unless of course we learn to start living for ourselves; unless we learn that true bossing does not come from always trying to set oneself above society but trying to relate to it.

By being sensitive to the needs of those around and being content with whatever resources we have, no matter how small, we will not only lead happier lives but more purpose-driven ones at that. And if only half of our youth begin to think and live their lives this way, then I am sure that this new day heralds a new beginning and that corruption is well on its way to being rooted out for good.